Friday, January 23, 2015

gibberish

Times when I'm home alone and when I actually woke up early without the help of any alarms nor any agendas for the day gives me a lot of time and mood for self-reflection. This is when I start to think back about all the events and things that have happened in my life and then I evaluate whether the decisions I made was a good or a bad one.

If someone can step into my head for a short moment now I think they would be confused. Because I am confused. If I can put into words all that tangled up thoughts and emotions, I would. And slowly unwind them all. I think I'm speaking in literature now because behind these words are a lot of underlying thoughts and feelings which I cannot even decipher myself.

I wish I know what I should do now and actually be disciplined enough to not give in, to my emotions—or anything.

I should just drown myself with work.

And I need food too.


Perhaps the bottom line is that I feel like I'm putting too much expectations upon myself ugh.

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